Originally Posted on April 17, 2012 as a gift to you from Professor Mentu
This article is a follow up to the post “You Have to Realize That My Kids Come First!!!” featured last week here at UMan.
My response is basically “No I don’t.” I don’t have to realize anything, do anything, remember anything, respect anything, or acknowledge anything that I don’t want to. Congrats on popping out some other man’s womb turd, but that’s none of my concern unless I choose to make it so.
That was a great article though, and Professor Ashur and I certainly appreciate our mutual single mommy acquaintance for taking the time to write it. An attractive chick who can stomach the manosphere gets a thumbs up in my book. But regarding single moms as a hole (pun!) there were some great comments that I think young men in the manosphere can benefit from.
We start out with Dylan Durret making a valid assertion:
“Only the ultimate cuckold beta will date single moms.”
To which The Private Man responded:
Let’s rephrase that: Only the ultimate cuckold beta will exclusively date one single mom.
Single moms are the BEST source for a soft harem. However, the logistics prove difficult because a family court judge is determining the dating schedule. So, it behooves a man with Charisma to date several single moms concurrently.
Though I certainly see Durret’s point, I think its sound policy for men age 24 and younger. But as for the rest of us, I couldn’t possibly agree more with The Private Man on this issue. Though I’ve only seriously dated two single moms, I’ve banged more than my fair share down through the years with zero regrets. A soft harem of single mommies is tits when you do it right.
Deti also offered some great insight, then put a cap on the discussion with this bit of excellent advice:
…I think any man dating a single mom (or any woman, really) has to keep HIS interests first and foremost. She has to be dated and treated like any other woman, I think. Yeah, she’s a single mom, but she’s a woman first. Use the neg. Don’t come off as needy or overly available. Make her come to you. Make sure there is attraction. Don’t invest. Escalate. Push for sex early.
Whether you agree with Durret’s assessment that single mothers are not fit for dating, or lean more towards The Private Man or Deti approach, let me offer you this bit of advice.
Hot single moms are like motorcycles: exciting, sleek, high-performance and fun to ride, but they can’t stand up on their own. As even the most expensive Harley-Davidson needs a rider or a kickstand to remain upright, so does the single mom need either a rider or a dickstand to keep her from falling over. Without a rider, she may be using your dick, baby daddy’s dick, Uncle Sam’s dick, or a combination of the three – but rest assured she’s not standing on her own. There’s a dickstand somewhere.
Dickstand: A man who props up a single mom while she’s waiting for an Alpha to ride her hard.
It’s important for men who engage single mothers to be deftly aware of the influences that can turn them from a potential rider into a dickstand. Allow me to present Exhibit A:
“hi daddy youcan camp wothme on my birthday party saturday mom says you cane”
I received that text several weeks ago from the cutest little 6 year old girl in Texas. Though I wouldn’t dare miss camping out in the back yard under the trampoline for her birthday, I didn’t let her mother know that. I waited for her mom to call me and say “Riley is still waiting to hear from you about her birthday”, to which I responded “Only if you wear that black dress, and promise to take it off as soon as I get there.”
She wore it, she took it off, I banged her, and then I started working on the tent in the back yard while pretending that Riley and I were explorers deep in the rainforest of the Sahara Desert (Her birthday, her fantasy geographical rules.)
Never let the innocence of a child blind you to the motives of the mother. If you do, you’ll become a dickstand and will rarely (if ever) get to take a ride. Had I flown all the way to Houston just to play daddy to Riley, I would have been pussy begging to her mother that night with a 50/50 chance of success. But since I set the ground rules up front, she made sure to have Riley at the neighbor’s house when she picked me up from the airport wearing that black dress with no panties.
Refuse to be a dickstand, and work on becoming a single mom Alpha rider. Here are a few reasons I enjoy riding a small harem of single mommies:
1. They usually know they’re not your one and only, and they see it as a challenge.
2. Most of them will cook for you and play a rather wifely role as they audition for “one and only.”
3. Most kids are cute, and as long as you keep their future expectations low, you can actually enjoy being a mentor. (Playing full-on daddy then bailing is a shitty thing to do, so keep it light. Obviously I learned that after Riley started calling me ‘daddy’ a few years ago.)
4. I’ve found that many single moms take excellent care of their bodies.
5. Most divorced single moms do not want to get pregnant again outside of marriage. I will not spend time with a single mom unless she was married when she became pregnant. The ones ok with popping out a bastard child are too risky to be worthy of my time or attention.
6. If you’re in your mid 30’s or older, you can bang a 29 year old HB9 single mom instead of an HB5 21 year old barfly.
7. Many single moms have left their princess entitlement syndrome and dreams of the perfect man behind after baby daddy introduced them to harsh reality.
8. The whole “You Have to Realize That My Kids Come First!!!” thing is usually a massive shit test. Most single moms put themselves first, and if you know how to make them see you as priority #1, you can get them to fuck on command and then do your laundry while you chill on the couch watching The Upside Down Show with Sally or teaching Timmy how to roll boogers before flicking them so he can get better distance.
Here’s how you can know if you’re a dickstand:
1. You _____________________ for her, but she doesn’t fulfill all of your sexual desires on demand. (Fill in the blank with anything and everything you can imagine that requires you to commit emotional or financial resources to her or her children.)
So that’s my take on the subject. Have fun being a rider, because she probably likes it just as much as you do. Single moms are becoming a major part of my diet as I get older, and it’s not too bad. Hell, some of my favorite girlfriends inside and outside of the bedroom have been single moms. You just have to make sure you do it right and leave the dickstand duties to the Betas.