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This is less philosophy and more on avoiding philosophy with women. However,this is related to some of the philosophy and literature posts I’ve done in the past. Plus, I made this mistake on Friday night, so the timing and relevance of an answer that Roosh gave hit close to home. I messed up, so I’m taking the chance to further internalize the lesson while I write about it.
From his email
A reader asked a very basic question; which I’ll paraphrase in one sentence:
Why do women whom claim to be intellectuals, with whom you actually have deep conversations in which you feel like you connect, tend to be harder to capture than the elusive Moby Dick?
To which Roosh responds as follows:
I know exactly what you are describing. It happened to me recently with a girl from South Africa. We went out, had a great time talking about all sorts of things without any pauses, but after several hours she pulls the goodbye and doesn’t even give me the opportunity to kiss her.Like you I spent time going over this, and since I’ve had a few cases like this before I think I know what’s happening…There’s no tension.Without tension there is no attraction. There has to be something raw or edgy about the interaction where not everything is perfect, where some type of emotional button is pushed. Otherwise you’re just brother and sister.I purposefully DUMB DOWN conversations with smart chicks to achieve this tension. I tease them instead of talking about world politics or whatever it is we have in common. Then after we have sex a couple times I can talk about the things I wouldn’t dare touch before, like the literature I’m reading.Lack of tension is why smart, intellectual guys don’t have many sexual partners. Tap into a strong jerk/primal vibe instead, only tossing a bit of it aside once you’re getting the sex.
In other words, without tension, the average woman will find the average male is about as unappealing as this:
He doesn’t really get into the why this is important part of the answer, so I will
No One Cares About Your Mental Capabilities
So get over yourself.
And by no one I really mean no one. Not people at your job, not your family, not your dog. Close friends that you develop a relationship conversing over whiskey and a cigar are the exception, but must be cultivated and certainly are not the rule. And they will nearly always be men, and not women. There was a reason men retired to whiskey and cigars together, and there’s a reason why this has died off with the change of cultural values.
You develop yourself for yourself, not to show off to others. So stop trying
I’ve written about this more in depth in the past, so for the curious as to why no one cares and instead, will actively begin to resent you, check out the link below to a previous post of mine. Accept the reality and keep developing your logical abilities regardless of the haters.
But women who actively say that they want a man who’s mind they can respect throw off the best of men’s hard learned lessons every now and then. Lets delve a bit into why women will say one thing, and follow through on the actions of this particular topic with completely opposite reactions.
The Confusion Women Give Men
There are three basic reasons women will suddenly become much harder to get in the sack once you start to show that you’re better than the average bear in terms of anything related to your brain.
1. Intellect is linked with “Marriage Material” values. By showing off too much intellect, you raise your value in her eyes in such a manner that she believes she has to pass a morality based vetting process with you. She will suddenly add several hours of time, if not several actual dates, to her mental evaluation of how long she has to keep you out of her pants so as not to give off a slut vibe.
This is the same sort of reaction a woman will give any man of whom shows traditional Christian values. This is entirely independent of whether you happen to be a Christian or not. Or a Charismatic, masculine leader or not. If you show marriage values to her, you raise the stakes for her.
If you’re pursuing a woman of possible wife material, she’ll hide any sluttiness more. I’d avoid it simply so that you can accurately sound out their true nature.
If you’re pursing a hedonistic ends, you just gave off the wrong sales pitch on what she should value you for. An intellectual mind does not a hedonistic cruise down lovers lane make. Switching gears is about as awkward as that sentence structure is.
2. No control over emotional connections and no emotional foundation to safely lead her back to. By staying within an intellectual realm, you are literally asking a woman to freely make intellectual leaps without any control over where she might land. Women are creatures that want to romp through a world of emotions, with you as the leader to assure her safety. A woman will forgive and love many a man for sticking up for his beliefs, but only if she’s already attracted to him. Which requires that emotional foundation. If you lack an emotional foundation to where you can safely lead her, you’re poking a dragon with a stick in hopes that it will give up it’s treasure, rather than simply eating you whole. Sometimes you will get lucky, often you won’t. You’ll rather build a blend of emotions without leadership to which she’ll connect you when thinking back upon the experience.
A man well versed in game can lightly use a subject to tease her, but getting into any depth will entrench you. Entrenchment in the anathema to emotional romping.
3. Your intellect is a resource. Women realize this. When she says that she values intellect, and you start giving away something of value for free, you’re giving away your commitment without obtaining anything in return from her perspective. What’s more, is that since every man on the planet values their intellect, you’re now also qualifying for her rather than her qualifying for you.
Guard your gates. Guard your commitment.
The closest you can get to winning with this part is by making her qualify for you instead of the other way around. Yet, if you get an intellectual belief of hers you disagree with, without that proper amount of crazy-as-sin-oh-my-god-he’s-a-real-man attraction, you are forced to either cede the point you don’t agree with or get eaten by the angry dragon when it doesn’t pass a qualification it deems far more important than the current level of attraction to you.
Avoid it or engage at your own risk.
Sexual attraction, and not intellectual, is the basis of any relationship. Make her want your dick first, then make her want your brain, heart, and soul.